I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
People with herpes should wear stickers.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
