Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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