During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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