:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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