Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I think I sprained my soul last night
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
