Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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