Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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