I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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