I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
