I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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