I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
