I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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