At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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