you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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