Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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