I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
