Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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