3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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