Me too!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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