How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
