I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
