Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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