Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
