You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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