Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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