so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
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All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
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Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Congratulations! We have a period
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