I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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