I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
is that a dick in a sweater?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
there is glitter all over my balls
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