I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
