no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
