he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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