I wish life had little blips of pornography
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
