Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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