he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize