pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
