After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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