i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
