I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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