ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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