no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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