I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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