a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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