Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
