I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
