she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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