Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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