I showed him my bush... on skype.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
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I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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