Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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