conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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