too bad you live with your parents still
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
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I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
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I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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