You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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