Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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