What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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