Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
