That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
