Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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