I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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