I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
