shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
