Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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