I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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