fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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