i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
