It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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