just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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